This piece called Metamorphosis is a visual representation of a very important life event, and turning point for me. 6 years ago, a series of traumatic events knocked the wind out of me, one after the other relentlessly, and for the first time in my life, I didn't get up, I retreated.
I did everything expected of me, I turned up, I cared for, I provided, but I was a shell of a person in a black hole. I was broken.
One night 3 years ago, laying in bed 'unsleeping' I sat bolt upright. I had this rush in my chest, I didn't know what it was, I only recognised that it was a call to action. I sat there for a minute staring into the dark, trying to figure out "to do what???" It's 3am?? "I have a big blank canvas downstairs! I have some small tubes of paint!" I don't remember where they came from, but I had had them a long time. Another pause "I don't have any paintbrushes".
I got out of bed, my footsteps getting faster and faster and locating my dusty canvas I ripped off the plastic. Then in the quiet, while the world slept, I squeezed the tubes on to the canvas and painted with my fingers. I didn't know what I was going to paint, I just knew I had to.
Colours flowing, like my shifting mood lifting. Liberated from my black hole, and the knowledge that this, is what I am meant to be doing, and this is how I'm going to get back up.
Metamorphosis should have been my first piece, in my strong woman collection. I painted representations of my feelings and experiences first. 'Pirate chair', 'Serene', 'Sisterhood' and 'A call to arms' Maybe I could recognise strength, but didnt allow myself the title yet.
I want to inspire people to 'get up!' I want my paintings to speak, and throw a hand into the black hole and pull more people out.